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May 26, 2009

Thanks for the millionth time to BFP…

Filed under: Uncategorized — thirdxlucky @ 5:56 am

Although the link at the beginning is problematic in several ways, reading bfp’s what is butch? post and comment thread – and the very fact of it being discussed in the context of bisexuality – has been pretty healing for me.

I’ve been wanting for a long time, pretty much since the day I re-started this blog, to write about my sexuality and gender identity; about the slow process of learning to own and honor my queerness, and the responsibility to radical queer community that entails, in the face of internalized bi-phobia; and about the ways that process is impeded both by the fact that my ability to pass as straight gives me access to massive heterosexual privilege, and by the fact that, by virtue of being a bisexual queer woman with cismale partners, I am perennially read in ways that erase my queerness by both the heteronormative and homonormative cultures I live in.

This entry has been percolating through my being for months and I’m not ready to write it yet. It involves some anger, some pain, some sadness, some regret and some joy that I’m still in the process of just feeling. But I can say this: Reading the phrase “bisexual butch” felt like coming up for air.

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