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August 8, 2009

Why Don’t Women Fight Back?

Filed under: Uncategorized — thirdxlucky @ 1:27 am

Another Post About Rape

I want everyone I know to read this post. Everyone. I want to send it to my Dad – and that’s saying something. This post is fucking amazing. It is perhaps the clearest, most concise, most accessible explanation I’ve ever read of the mind-bending cognitive dissonance that so many women experience after being sexually assaulted.

I read this and I cried. It made me think of every girl I know and love who’s been raped or assaulted as an adult, violated as a girl, molested as a child – and who questioned herself about it for months or years afterwards. Wondering if it was her fault, wondering if she caused it, wondering if she should have done something differently, wondering if it was really rape, if the fact that she didn’t scream ‘NO’ at the top of her lungs, or even define it as ‘rape’ at the time, or was polite and friendly to the guy when she saw him at work the next day, means it didn’t really ‘count’.

Worried that the trauma and anger and sadness and confusions and fears she developed after the fact weren’t caused by the event itself – and event so trivial she didn’t REALLY try to to stop it. Accepted that these inexplicable emotional meltdowns and discomfort with her body and sudden losses of trust simply meant that she was crazy. Over-reacting. Hypersensitive. An attention seeking drama whore.

Then I read the comments and cried again.

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