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March 21, 2010

In Which I Overcontextualize Everything – As Usual

Filed under: Uncategorized — thirdxlucky @ 8:11 pm

Meta meta meta meta nom! nom! pop!


I haven’t posted in either of my other blogs for months. I’ve been wanting to write publicly, but haven’t felt like I had a good forum for it – not LiveJournal, because I feel the sun has set on that particular writing project, and not the new blog because I have a very specific idea of what I want to do there and I’m not ready to do it.

I’d almost forgotten I had this space. This free-form, vulnerability-inducing, write-whatever, politicopersonal scribble space. Then something Asa said (months ago – I’m behind on my blogreading) reminded me about the value of putting nascent ideas out there into my community’s collaborative discussion.

I haven’t been writing much lately, period. Last night, I was asked what I’ve been thinking about lately and I didn’t have a good response. I sort of made something vague up on the spot. Typically, I could tell you I’ve been thinking about any combination of the following: radical social justice, information technology, the politics of intimacy, magic, queer theory, writing mechanics, writing’s metaphysics, the bizarre Antarctic micro-culture, American public education, my relationship to my body, my relationship to my family, intentional community, colonialism, and/or New York…and certainly, all these things are constant threads in my web of ideas.

But lately, mostly, I’ve just been thinking about sex.

I don’t mean that I’ve been developing articulated ideas about sexuality and society. I don’t really even mean that I’ve been distracting myself with steamy fantasies about threesomes with, say, Eliza Dushku and Allison Hannigan. I mean that I’ve basically sublimated all of my intellectual and creative power over the past several months into half-assedly trying to get laid. And into attempting to do so healthily and ethically in the aforementioned bizarre Antarctic micro-culture. Which, let me tell you, is a pain in the ass.

I’ve learned a lot of lessons from this and had some interesting revelations about both myself and society, some of which I’m sure will articulate themselves in my writing once they’ve had a little more time to percolate. I also feel lethargically self-indulgent and like I’ve been letting my brain rot. It’s good to let go once in a while – especially for a control freak like me. And there’s a way in which this immersion in relative a-consciousness, while being an artifact of my incredible privilege, has been an important part of my healing process around rape and gender oppression…one in which I’ve made a lot of progress over the past year.

But it’s time for me to get my brain back on the wagon and to take (albeit scrambling, unformed) responsibility for being an active participant in building radical community again…

But this time around, I’m gonna have a little more fun doing it.

So. Here I am. Hi!

In other news: My roommates own a laser pointer specifically designed as a cat toy. It’s actually shaped like a mouse. Huh.


1 Comment »

  1. Hi! Yay for blogging and embracing the techno-mass-culture! Meta meta meta meta meta. (In other words: I resonate with your brains).

    I’m totally into finding creative realtionship ways with all this biz-nass and LOVED your comment so so so much. I agree with ya, in that knowing the beast is the way to maintain some personal space within it. Or such like.

    The Artist’s Way is an AMAZING book, we should talk about it!

    I love active participation in radical community, its the best, and people like you make it that way šŸ˜€

    Love that we are both picking up the blogging again!

    Comment by Brandi — March 25, 2010 @ 10:23 pm | Reply

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