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April 6, 2010


Filed under: Uncategorized — thirdxlucky @ 7:38 pm
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We also talked about abuse and what responsibility we, as a community, have to abuse victims and to abusers. We didn’t go very in-depth with it, but the fact that the conversation happened at all was really important, I think. It’s the first time we’ve ever talked about abuse at the Meetup – which means now, rather than being a taboo topic, there are the beginnings of precedent for talking about it when/if people in our community are being abused. I feel good about this.

I feel good, in general, about how our community is developing into an actual community. We’re all pretty young and pretty privileged and pretty inexperienced with conscientiously building intentional community. But, on the other hand, we’re all poly, which means we’re very experienced with the down-and-dirty hands-on work of intentionally building community, and quite a few of us are queer, and several of us are invested in radical work elsewhere or in other communities with radical mindsets… So, I’m cautiously optimistic.

Jessie also suggested something that hadn’t occurred to either of us until last night, but seems so obvious now: Applying a community-based Restorative Justice model to dealing with perpetrators of abuse. I have some problems with the restorative justice model I learned; it would take some tweaking and it would only work in certain situations (RJ only works when the perpetrator is willing to own and take responsibility for their crime) – but those situations seem to be the ones in which healing and restoration matters most for the sake of the abuse-victim i.e. the ones in which the abuser and victim are strongly tied together by other family or family-like relationships.


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