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July 25, 2012

I can haz nap please?

Filed under: Uncategorized — thirdxlucky @ 3:03 pm

Can I just go back to sleep and sleep forever? I feel so melodramatic today. Like everything is just a heavy weight. What the fuck am I doing here?

I haven’t been taking care of myself. I know, I know. I feel quietly paralyzed. Do I have any insight to offer here? No. Probably not. I’m just writing ’cause I know writing is a form of self-care. Not, like, ice-cream and fantasy novels make-me-feel-good-when-I’m-sad self-care (tho that shit matters). The other kind. The doing-this-on-a-regular-basis-keeps-me-grounded-and-emotionally-even kind of self-care. The hard kind. Ugh.

What’s wrong with me? How am I the kind of person, at 30 years old, who seriously posts blog entries including phrases like, “What’s wrong with me?” Dear Livejournal…

Dear Livejournal, I’m trying to write my way out of depression and sleep deprivation and a lack of exercise, snuggles, sunshine, and healthy food. What do you think I should do?

Oh god. And I have a friend coming over from Antarctica this evening who I’m going to have to make small talk with. I’m happy to see her but…oh god.

I’m going to post this but I’m not gonna Tweet it ’cause there’s nothing in it. This is just for me. This is just…I don’t know what the fuck this is. Whatever.

ETA: Okay, weirdly, that actually helped. I feel a little less cloudy now.


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